We've gotten several e-mail requests for the I-94 Morning I-Opener Rules For Grilling, so without further ado, here they are:
R U L E S F O R G R I L L I N G
When a man volunteers to do grill out, the following chain of events are put into motion:
ROUTINE
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cook ing utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
VERY IMPORTANT
(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
MORE ROUTINE
(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
VERY IMPORTANT
(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
ADDITIONAL ROUTINE
(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
MOST IMPORTANT
(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off. Upon her reaction, conclude there is no pleasing some women.
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